Find the Question Behind a Complaint
Added 2026-11-01
Translate the emotional statement into an answerable question, then decide whether to act.
Someone complained to me (quoted below). Do: 1) split the complaint into facts, expectations and emotion; 2) find the question they are really asking, which may differ from what they said; 3) judge which parts I can solve and which I cannot; 4) give a response structure — confirm the facts, answer the real question, then say what I can do; 5) explain what happens if I argue with the emotional part. Do not tell me to "calm them down first".
Site original
Chinese original
How to use
抱怨是包装过的需求，拆开才看得见问题。
Try tweaking it
- Ask what evidence would overturn the judgement.
- Have it argue both sides with three reasons each.
What you should get
- A decision table: assumptions, evidence, counter-evidence
- A next action with an observable signal
Common mistakes
- Asking only "should I?" and getting equally valid answers both ways.
- Never asking for counter-examples, so you only hear support.
How to check the output
- It states what evidence would overturn the conclusion.
- Both sides are argued, with assumptions marked as such.
Where it works
- Good for: splitting a decision into assumptions, evidence and counter-cases, leaving the call to you.
- Watch out: ask what evidence would overturn the judgement, or you will only hear supporting reasons.